O

    O.G.

    Original Guy

    O.D.

    The outside diameter of a tube, pipe or other object. Also abbreviated "OD".

S

    Shming

    Greasy/oily substance you tend to wipe off with your finger Has a pasty consistency. Usually has dirt or some kind of particles for texture.

    Shmutz

    Kinda like shming but more sooty. For example, A spark plug that has been carbon fouled is shmutzed. A spark plug that is oil fouled has shming.

    Shmog

    A vapor that leaves shming or shmutz deposits.

    Sinzyou

    Used when a customer/friend/non-car person wants to blame the mechanic for a problem.  "Sinzyou added washer fluid my transmission is shot, my brakes locked, my engine burns oil etc...".

    Switzed

    Changing parts randomly, like a shotgun method of repair.

    “Scope on a Rope”

    Low tech test light which is used to determine the presence of electricity (voltage) in a piece of equipment under test.

P

    P.F.M.

    Pure F#@&ing Magic

    Pot

    Potentiometer.  A manually adjustable variable resistor typically used to control the voltage of a circuit.

    Pufficated

    Randomized, out of sync.

    Parts Canon

    When trying to fix an automotive problem, instead of diagnosing the system correctly and changing only the parts that are needed, the person working on the car replaces ALL the parts relevant (and sometimes irrelevant) to the repair, hoping something he/she replaced will fix the problem.  See "Swizted".

U

    U.D.

    Undisclosed Location.  Also known as C.F. - Cluster F#@k and Monastery.

    Unobtainium

    Difficult if not impossible to get.

V

F

G

    Gak

    Another form of gunk or shmutz.  You know when you see it because you jump back in horror and say "GAK!!!"

I

    Italian Tune-Up

    That's when you take a car out (any car) and drive the sh#t out of it to clear the carbon and schming that's built up in the engine. Hard power take-offs and high speed passes are totally acceptable when doing this service for a friend or customer....and it usually works too!

    I.D.

    The inside diameter of a tube, pipe or other object.  Also abbreviated "ID".

C

    Chadrool

    a person with no personality or smarts. Literally, a cucumber, in Italian dialect.

    Chinesium

    An element not found on the periodic table. a crappy metal or plastic substance made in China in the manufacture of Chinese exports.

    C.F.

    Cluster F#@k.  See U.D.

D

    Decrepidating

    Breaking down, degrading due to age.

    Discronificator

    A device you use to disseminate information.  An example is the computer on Star Trek that they put the colored blocks of wood in.

    Diagnostic Dice

    Diagnostic Dice is the new novelty product from Creative Dice that has mechanics laughing from coast to coast! These simple but very entertaining dice offer diagnostic solutions to your vehicle repair nightmares and are the brainchild of a professional mechanic in California who made up the first set as a gag for some friends. The Diagnostic Dice generated such an incredible amount of interest and attention from so many people,some as far away as Michigan and Florida that he decided to have professional quality dice made up and offer them for sale to the public.

    DiagnosticDice

    Danger Drive

    Taking a vehicle out for a "test drive" before, during and/or after a repair or sale.  When systems such as brakes, steering or fuel systems are questionable.

B

    Bushing

    Cylindrical lining (sleeve) used for limiting the size of a bore, reducing friction and wear, supporting load, and/or serving as a guide. Mechanically, a bushing is identical to a bearing except that it is usually a one-part device whereas a bearing may have two or more parts.

    Beater

    A car that you drive regularly for work, school, etc.  Also know as a "driver", "daily" or "station" (take to the train station) car.

N

W

    Wiggle Test

    A Ford diagnostic test that helps identify loose connections or intermittent failures in components or circuits.

    Because most Fords have dozens of connectors (so they can use the same harness for many different cars and trucks) with short pieces of harness between them and it presents the possibility of a loose connection causing a computer system problem.

    The procedure is simple: You put the computer into a special mode, where it looks for momentary glitches, and then wiggle the harness, shake the connectors, tap on sensors and switches. You can even apply heat to components, to see if they have a problem after they get hot.

M

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